🔗 Share this article This Floating Excrement Was Far Too Symbolic! These Are the Television Disappointments of the Past Year. Looking back, we consider the TV offerings of the recent year, a selection of shows emerge not for their brilliance, but for their notable shortcomings. From cringe-inducing spin-offs to bafflingly poor docuseries, here are the programmes that had us utterly bewildered or just reaching for the remote. The 'Sex and the City' Sequel Where to begin with this divisive follow-up? Plagued with dreadful scripts, painful arcs (justice for Miranda!), and a mere 71 seconds of beloved Samantha, the series fought to justify its existence. For a moment, as the third series started, it looked like it had at last found its groove. Then arrived an installment all about Seema’s natural deodorant. Little surprise the creator announced this would be the final series. It concluded on a bum note; the closeup of Miranda’s loo flooded with poo was just way too symbolic. Still, viewers undeniably had a hoot picking apart every single “wtf?” episode. And as Carrie – once again single – twirled around her palatial townhouse to Barry White, who couldn't let out a little sob? The Kim Kardashian Drama ‘Is Kim Kardashian an actress? Of course she can’t.’ But that was almost the smallest of this drama's problems. The recipient of a exceedingly uncommon no-star assessment, it was difficult to know where to start enumerating the flaws. The laughably wooden writing? The tedious veneration of affluence and materialism? The almost wilful parade of tropes? Acting so bad they felt almost malicious? Suffice it to say “all of the above” and forget about this show again. However, a new season has been commissioned, so we’re probably going to have to. The Charlie Sheen Documentary Considering the restraining orders, domestic violence allegations and parental shortcomings, it’s reasonable to say Charlie Sheen has been a troubled figure. Not that you’d truly have known it from this multi-part documentary which chuckled along at Sheen’s various bouts of self-destructive excess while failing to tell us a single thing we didn’t already know. Rather, it felt as if this loose cannon was being indulged, so any pity this series might induce should be reserved for the people who have had to suffer close contact with this charismatic but flippant narcissist. The Supercomputer Drama Of course we understood it was ridiculous from the outset: a thriller about a AI known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either save the world – or annihilate all of humanity. We persevered out of sheer admiration for its stars … but by the end, it felt like even they had given up trying. One barely cared when his character died, and the other ended up hacking Charlie with an axe … in super slow-motion. Talk about admitting defeat. The Gangster Drama Dodgy characters meeting in empty boxing gyms? The Prodigy’s Firestarter blaring in club scenes? The late 90s called and demands its crime drama back. Actually, that is unfair on the crime shows of the late 90s. Many look a bit dated now, but at least they didn’t suffer the ignominy of having to accommodate unconvincing accents. But there were plenty of other issues. Primarily that it was just really dull; a dispute over drug-selling territory between various London picaresques which felt a bit basic. The Meghan Markle Series Given the degree to which she provokes the ire of certain ostentatiously angry commentators, it’s temptingly easy to applaud the Duchess of Sussex’s various forays into quaint lifestyle as intentional statements. But then you view them and are compelled to concede that in this case, they may have a point. It’s like watching a homeware magazine animated; a poster for wine o’clock with ideas of grandeur; a procession of sleeping dogs, buzzing beehives, sentimental sayings and forgettable crafting “hacks” you’ll not remember instantly. All supported by vast, mostly unearned wealth. Ugh. The Beckham Documentary There are clearly fascinating things to be said about both Victoria Beckham and her struggles with career, self-image, self-acceptance. But for some reason, this three-part series chose not to explore them. Rather, the viewing was akin to reading a sales catalogue. She obviously has good reason to resent what she describes as her “stern” image. But unfortunately, she failed to do herself any helps with this guarded letdown of a series. The Game Show It had the potential to be the next cultural phenomenon – except even more extravagant, with a glamorous star playing dead and a sharp-tongued personality managing her estate. What more could you want? As players battled it out, there was plenty of betrayal and arguing. But the rules quickly became incomprehensible: it’s even now too complicated to detail what precisely was happening. Even more disappointingly, we only saw brief appearances of the star via prerecorded videos. The show ended up smelling of a programme that was trying way too hard to live up to something far greater than it. The Lena Dunham Romcom How do you follow a show that captured a generation? The expectation was enormous for this glitzy romantic comedy about Jessica, a rosy-eyed New Yorker who lands in London with a shattered romance. The lead actress seized the opportunity by the horns and was joyous to watch, reveling in Jane Austen levels of romantic notions. But it was all very slick and, ironically, was insufficient. Plus, the sheer amount of famous friends involved felt uncomfortable. The Sketch Show Return Not good enough to be ‘uneven’. Given the smart inclusion of talented younger comics, expectations were high. But sadly, most of it fell flat. A particular sketch was a one-note joke milked to a dry pulp but recurring in every episode. One star seemed too willing to slip into a familiar irate mode. The behind-the-scenes sketches, meanwhile, simply provoked the thought that they should probably have remained in there a while longer. The Twisted Tale of Amanda Knox This retelling of the story of Amanda Knox was overseen by Amanda Knox and pretty much solely presented the perspective of Amanda Knox. So, while there probably is an compelling drama to be made about the tragic 2007 murder, this was not it. The material needed to be treated with care. Rather, the series laboured awkwardly to find the right voice, lumbering from strangely jaunty, somewhat stylised farce to ultimately, real-life horror. Complex? Arguably. A complete mess? Very much so. Prime Target We admire the lead actor … but did we believe him playing the greatest maths genius in history, a man so smart he’s on the brink of a discovery that could ruin society? No! This international thriller about government agencies spying on – and killing off – academics honestly got more absurd by the second. Formulaic nonsense. 1000 Men and Me: The Bonnie Blue Story This hagiography followed the content creator notorious for sexual exploits as she undertook her most extreme feat yet. What on earth would motivate her? What we craved was far greater examination of her true psychology, plus those of the men in the line. They could at least have interviewed the now-famous mum who showed up to haul her son away from the queue. What we got was horrific imagery and absolutely no interrogation of her infamy whatsoever. And to think, the documentary-maker has a young daughter too.